The post about moving one (breaking up)

Me: He just left me. I feel fragile. Like if you tip me the wrong way I may break.
Joey: Oh, Jesse.

And thus the story of the relationship between the man and the younger man is over. I think I'm doin okay. When I think about him, though, those moments where its just me and him: A kiss on the neck that innitiates love making, a wink, a joke, a bad song he used to sing in the shower. The pang in my heart, it hurts now. Almost as though I'm trying to make my chest pang. Its a little hollow. And I feel tired.

He's going to Cambodia for a month, leaving on Tuesday. When he returns we'll be friends, because he's on the most important people in my life, but we will only be friends. I think its okay for me to be incredibly upset about that. He's upset also, but it had to happen. The games we were playing couldnt last forever. I'm not getting any younger. ( I think its a good thing that I can keep a sense of humor through this.)

I've been hanging out with MP alot. Which is great because he's an amazing friend. I owe him more than he realizes I'm certain.

I dont mean to sound incredibly maudlin about all of this. I saw it coming I knew we were breaking up along time ago. But knowing its coming and actually experiencing it are two different things. But I have air in my lungs and a really loud neighbor who screams during sex above my head. I havent smoke a cigarette in 3 weeks. And my gums look pink instead of blood red. Kudos for me.