So I'm back in a New York mood

I'm back!
The trip was good I guess. I got to spend some much needed time with old friends, and have some new adcventures. I had a Christmas dinner almost void of arguments (those came later), and I rang in the New Year with a few people I wasnt sure I would ever see again.

But I'm back in Manhattan and things are good, because here I'm no one. In Michigan I sort of felt like Neal Cassidy, always provoking the real geniuses to work harder, and live larger. Here I'm just a college student who works too hard, and doesnt have enough time to read The Sun Also Rises for the 5th time.

I got back in touch with friends here. Some of whom I've decided to leave behind me because I'm almost certain my wanting to be friends with them is hurting the actual friendship we could have had. I know that doesnt make sense but its what I'm saying.

When I'm in New York I never feel that New York feel, the feeling that connects all 0f those who live here. That New York feel. Riding the 6 train, walking down Broadway, spending the afternoon in Central Park. You all know what I'm talking about though, right? (At least those who live here.) When you watched The Devil Wears Prada and you saw them eating at Mayrose and you thought "they have really great omlettes" or when you watch Sex and the City and point out that your friend lives in that building, whichever building that may be.

It doesnt happen when youre in New York, its not that atmosphere that surrounds Manhattan, its an editorial New York. New York in print, on film, and in conversation.

I was considering moving somewhere else when my lease ends in June. But I dont think I can now. Because I understand what I'm part of now. I'm not a somebody here, I wont be for a long time, but with a friend who deals art, a friend in enterainment, an aquaintence in publishing I've unknowingly set myself up to become a somebody. Of course in New York there are no somebodies. Its how everyone else thinks of you. Those non-New Yorkers. Because we dont really give a shit who you are if youre walking too slow in front of us.

I heart New York. I love Manhattan, and Brooklyn. I'm not afraid of the Bronx, I tolerate Queens, and respect anyone who likes living on Staten Island. Will I ever leave New York. Of course I will. I want to live in Europe and Asia, I want to do relief work in Africa. I want to learn to surf on Bondi Beach, and go hiking in Nepal. I want to walk through Cambodia, and listen to friends play at a bar in London.

Life is too short to not do anything with it. I refuse to stop experiencing things just because I moved to New York when I was 18. With luck I will live past 100, and do not see Europe in 100 years in inexcusable in my book.

The book has been outlined, it is in a folder sitting on my desk/table/dvd rack, I'm hoping to do something with it soon, because all I have at the moment is time.

Happy New Year.