Monday, March 05, 2007

outof ideas

I'm not sure what I should be writing about anymore. I've been trying to think about what I want the tone of my blog to be, how do I want to be percieved? Basically I came up with nothing.
I cant keep blogging about intimate details of my life because I dont want my memories to belong to someone who isnt, well, me. And when I blog about my day, it just becomes this long and arguous read that even I lose interest in. I have no more stories to post, because I havent written any stories to post about.

This my amigos, is an impass.

The man and I have unresolved issues that we're avoiding. The resolution of which will probably be the end to our "relationship". I'm ruining my academic career basically right out of the box. And at random moments I feel myself welling with tears and I dont know where they come from. I know it isnt the city itself. I wont let myself be one of those people who gets bested by New York.

The thing is, (and this will sound childish), I just want to jump in a machine and travel 10 years into the future to see where I'm heading. Will I know the same people, will I even be alive? Will I have time in my life to actually write something that I feel is worthy of the eyes of others?

Does this get any easier? Or is my plate always going to be this full?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

It will work out. You need to focus on the things you have control of and learn to live or let go of the things you have no control of. It sounds simple, but it can be hard to do.

And as for your blog, don't think that you need to create some magnificent thing that will change your readers' lives. Your blog should be just that - yours. Write what you want to write about, don't write what you don't write about.

Its a very Buddhist-like philosophy, live and let live. Focus on yourself and everything else will eventually fall in line.

Glennie said...

"And then last night i had that strange dream
Where everything was exactly how it seemed
Where concerns about the world getting warmer
The people thought they were just being rewarded..."

The Postal Service

Jesse I miss you!

Glennie said...

jesse I made a blogger..