Brooklyn College Follies

So today was my first day of school. It was pretty much what I had expected it to be, crowded classrooms, overworked professors who qouted Proust because they could, and people who didnt vote. But all things considered I like my profs.

My school schedual is pretty crazy this semester. I have 2 classes Monday and Tuesday, three on Wednesday, none on Thursday and 2 on Friday. Its complete chaos.

But today being Wednesday I had 3 classes:

1st was English. Prof was nice, defenitly gay, possibly Jewish, more than likely shops at a co-op and listens to AirAmerica Radio(this is a good thing).

2nd was Ethics. Prof was...dull. Young, Defenitly Jewish, probably gay. His voice was completely monotoned.

3rd was Political Science. Prof was very hyper. Defenitly Asian, defenitly gay. Tough hyper I found myself looking at the clock.

Tomarrow is a free day, which means...errands. Post office, bills, laundry, editing, and catching up with amigos here, some of whom I havent seen in a very long time.

After the errands I have to work. I really love my job at centrally-located-tourist-attracted-mega-store. I'm working in the book department now. I get to bring my own music, gotta love that. I hope they let me play all of it.

Oh and I'll hopefully have my own computer up and running by Sunday. I havent heard from Bob since Monday and I havent heard from James since the fight at Bob's. But considering my unwainging codependence on him that may be for the best.

I'm also glad it stopped fucking rainging here.

The Penelope Cruz thing

So my job kicks alot of ass, just so ya know. I get to talk about music all day, listen to music all day, make fun of employees and for once I'm working with people MY age. and by that I mean about 25, hehe. But anyway I'm off track already.

On my second day of work I was behind the register, ringin up the customers and these too very kind older Spanish men step up to the counter. "cool" I think, "Spanish couples or whatever."
Behind them stood a very beautiful woman, she was a little on the shorter side, great flashy smile, beautiful eyes. I smiled at her and said "I'll be with you in just a second."

She pointed to the other men to tell me she was with them. I nodded a response and continued on my way. After a few seconds it hit me, my head snapped upwards and no I wasnt going crazy it was, Penelope Cruz. I would have died but then I remembered "Head in the Clouds", no, no. I kid. I love Penelope Cruz. She smiled at me again, after she realized that only now I knew who she was.

As she was leaving, a coworker leaned over to me and said "Ya know, she went on record and said she saw the Tomatie baby?"
"Cause she was paid to. If not Tom would have had the sad dead alien spirits make use Zoloft."

And that was the story of Ms. Cruz.

Computer still broken, classes start on wednesday, and I still havent heard from Christopher in Italy. But things are good, I couldnt imagine living anywhere else now.

Computer Problems persist

So I figured out whats wrong with my lap top...everything. This is incredibly stressful considering that I need a bunch of stuff from MI to fix it all, and that my parents dont know what Windows XP is. I think I'm going to the pier, or possibly central park to fix it all, possibly write some. Possibly jump in the Hudson.

In other news. There's been no word from Mr. R-train as of yet. This saddens me greatly because, well in short, I'm lonely. I listened to Ryan Adams songs for like 45 minutes to day, completely catotonic on my floor. Not good for business.

I'm at the same cafe on University. I'm again paying too much money, but I love the 6 of you just that much. And because I love you all so much I though I might share a poem with you for this Wednesday that outta get better or I may need some book therapy.

This one I wrote about a year ago, it was post James punching.
Theres no title:

Flat on the floor
strung out on calm music.
Back to the ground, face to face with the ceiling
minds not going anywherel.
Getting up is inevitable, but
staying like this forever just feels right.

So thats that. Kind of sums up the feeling I had this morning.

Tomarrow is my first day at centraly-located-mega-store. I think I'm going to head up town now, buy a zip drive and head to the Central Park mall.

Peace commrades.

Email problems.....

So yesterday my computer crashed for the first time ever. I almost cried, not that I'm a sissy or anything.

When I rebooted and got everything running again, it was a complete mess. I cant open media player, I cant access blogger, and worst of all my email is at the throes of an angry virus. I need help, bad.

I personally blame MSN messenger Beta, its a P.O.S. and hotmail Live Beta was a complete Monet. It looks pretty, it even feels pretty, but on the inside its nothin but ugly.

I'm currently at an internet cafe on University Place paying 18 cents a fucking minute to check my Email.

But because I love all six of you I will update you on life.

Friday I gave Michael his present and I got a good feeling that he liked it. His kept saying things like "Oh Wooooow" and "how the hell did you find this?!?"

He teaches early Christian history at a college here in the city and speaks a whole cacophony of languages, Smarty I know.

I was in a bookstore between Chelsea and Union Sq. and found 3 books that would be perfect for him. The first was Jack London's "The Wanderer" in french, the Second was a play by Camus(also in French) and the third was an essay on Dante in english but from 1879. So in short, he shit a brick(pardon my French).

Saturday I went out with Bob. And it was really, odd.

I got to his apartment, things that usually transpire with Bob transpired and when we got done, James called me.(Now dont think I'm the kind of guy that answers the phone post....This was as we were walking out the door and I apologized profusely to Bob about it). I asked him about the phone call. This was the conversation:

James: What the fuck is up with your voicemail?
Me: You're the one that called me.
James: Jesse I would never have called and said that.
Me: Hind sight is 20/20
James: what?
me: never mind.
James: I think you dreamed it up.
me: Are yo-
James: I think youre lonely.
Me(with Bob's hand in my pocket): Believe me, I'm not lonely.
Bob: HAHAHAHAHAAHA
James: Whose that?
Me(Bob reaching for my phone): A special friend, I got to go.
"click"

Then Bob took me to Sushi, at a place on University Place ironically. I'm looking at it right now. We then went to a movie at the Quad Cinema. We were walking back to his car and I'm about to step off the curb to get in when he says "I think I'm going to head home."
"Okay, " I say " Lets go"
"No I mean I'm really beat, I think I'M going to go home."
"Oh....Okay. Do you want me to ride back with you or do you want me to catch the train at Union Sq.?"
"Doesnt matter."
"I'll just catch the train here"
"Okay."

He doesnt even hug me goodbye. I watch his car drive down 13th street, a kind of disappointment stirring in me. I call Ms. B tell what happened as I walk to Union Sq. The train ride is lonely, as all train rides seem to be. The whole way I'm thinking about Mr. R-train. Kicking myself for not "fully" introducing myself to him. Wondering if he's a reader.

And Sunday....My fucking computer crashed.

Tomarrow I have orientation at "big ass mega store". I'll let you know how it goes.

Today is a very good day

So because I'm still kind of lathargic even though its almost 1:30 I'm going to just make a list of some things and you can decide for yourselves if things are looking up for me.

1.) I'm now employed.
2.) My parents are coming to visit me on Sept. 19th.
3.) I found an autographed copy of one of my favorite books("I am not Myself These Days") at Barnes & Noble.
4.) I bought a shit load of great music recently: Doves "Some Cities"; Sleater-Kinney "One Beat"; David Bowie "Greatest Hits"; Snow Patrol "Eyes Open"; Scissor Sisters (self Titled); and the best one Miles Davis "Kind Of Blue"!!!!! Does it get better than Miles Davis?
5.) My friend Loved his presents(more on that later)
6.) I have clean laundry :P
7.) I'm almost certain that the man from the subway is out there thinking about me, because I'm certainly thinking about him.
8.) I have 3 overdue movies at Blockbuster.
9.) I'm hanging out with Bob later today.
10.) Its Saturday in NYC
11.) And I have to tell the story of how I realized I'm becoming a New Yorker.

the 30 seconds I fell in love today

So today was a very good day for this boy in this city. Firstly and most importantly and with nothing to do with this title at all: I got a job!!!! I'm working at a very well known "mega" store in a very well known "Square". If you dont know by that then you need to turn back and start "Hop on Pop" at page 1. Just kidding I love my readers....all 4 of you.

But more on that later.

So I was waiting for the trusty Q train today at Union Sq. station. I had just bough a couple of CD's and a new book that I had read before.(If that makes any sense.) I entered at the 16th street entrance and walked down the platform, then I saw him, and let me tell you right now, he was pretty.

We made eye contact and I though he was just checking me out, because I was defenitly checking him out. But he smiled and I fell completely head over heals for him. I walked past him slightly, David Bowie's "Hero's" starting on my CD player. He would look my was periodically, checking to see if I was there. I pretended to play it cool, act like I was mildly interested in him, like I had been through this before.

He was, I'm guessing 21, probably had a summer internship, at some law firm near Gramercy Park. He had an attractive purple shirt and everything else was black, except of course for his ipod head phones. Dark eyes, dark hair, very good looking. He was shy, and I knew it. I was shy too however and he knew it also. I wished beyond any wish that he would walked up to me.

The Q train was coming from a distance, I looked at him, he gave me a look of longing, which I returned. Then I smiled to myself and he looked slightly confused. We were across the platform from each other. He was waiting for the R, I knew this because as I approached him the W was just leaving.

The Q train doors opened, he smiled kindly as if to say "It was good wanting to know you". The train doors closed, he turned to watch the train go, and saw me standing there against the collum looking at him, still shy. The something came over me, as the N train approached. I knew I had to take this one or I wouldnt be getting home anytime soon, so I took out my NY AM and wrote my number on it. He watched me intently, as I set it down next to the collum and entered the train.

He glided over, picked it as the doors dinged closed. He read it quickly, flashing me a toothy smile that made my heart melt. He showed my a peace sign which I returned with quickly, and as the train pulled away I saw him digging in his messenger bag and retrieving his cell phone.

I'll be honest, my heart skipped a beat.

A poem for Wednesday

This is a poem that is first in a series that have the same opening line. They're observations on various things: kinds of people, musicc, the state of the world, friends of mine. They may seem depressing to some, but nevertheless I hope you like it, if I get good feed back I'll post a few others.

I’m not getting anywhere here No. 1

Part 1

I’m not getting anywhere here
No one can hear me.
I’m screaming at gun point
Looking for meaning.
The woman, she’s crying
And Johna is dying.
No one looks fleetingly,
At the phoenix

Don’t take this for granted
Temporary at best.
As you slash and burn,
Reignition.

Though I’m stationary now.
I’m silently screaming,
On a pedestal.
To a throng of political ghosts
And public apparitions.
While her back is to the door,
Fiddling with the knob.
In my slight methodical hell
I await the resignation
In the shallows.

Part 2

Foxy fever dreams
Guide me to my post
While my woman cascades
Down the stairs.
Collectively disfigured
Standing free formed and disillusioned

Anger leads me to intolerance
The human way
At best
Soap opera wont end,
Pregnancy scare second term.
And my head will only hit the wall
Six times before I pass out.
Calmed by my coma.
But fever dreams persist.


Part 3

And I’m killed by her courage
She mounted the stairs
Met me on the landing
Questioned my confidence
She’s left standing
In the shallows

Slash and burn
I’ve become
something proud
no ones won.

So the thing about this James guy

So I felt it necessary to clear up some James stuff, seeing as my other post might be a little confusing.

James was the first person I ever came out to. And the first person to say "I know what you mean". He was a typical bad boy: drinking, smoking, a short attempt at cocain. During this I was or felt like I was his guide post.

When I went through my hard times: deep depression, anger, my parents relentless illnesses. He was my guide post as well.

So of course I fell completely in love with him. I loved close contact with him. Knowing his eyes were on me when I wasnt looking, not sexually, just on me. We would be in a group of people and he would throw me this smile, this brief sort of "you know me best" smile. Like we had a secret.

We used to go to a coffee shop 20 miles away every Thursday. We would drink coffee, smoke Camels(I quit), wear our hearts on our sleeves. And he always seemed to hint that he felt something along the lines of what I felt for him.

Then.

We were in his basement, smoking, talking about our lives. I may have said something along the lines of: "I cant wait until highschool is over so we can finally be together". He looked at me, completely serious "Jesse, I have to tell you something...and I feel like complete shit doing this to you". I just sat there, I knew what he was going to say, but I half expected this conversation to transpire.

"I'm not....I dont feel the same way about you as you feel about me. We're very different in alot of ways."

Silence.

"I'm not gay. I said it because I didnt want you to feel so alone, I know that highschool is tuff on kids and I didnt want you to end up like all those kids that commit suicide."

"You lied to me, to help me...stay alive?" I asked.

"I feel like shit. You know I feel like shit about this. You're really important to me, you are, but I just cant be that," he pleaded.

I stood up,"I'm gunna go. I need to do some think-."

"No dont go, sit talk to me. What do you feel? Tell me." He begged me to stay but I just couldnt do it.

"Betrayed." I said shortly, "and a little foolish." I walked to the stairs, took them two at a time. He caught me at the top, right in front of the door. He kissed me, shaking, weak, embaressed. Thats how I knew he was lying to himself not me.

I stared at him slightly bewildered, slighty angry, even more in love with him. I pushed the door open, I left the house in a few quick, long steps and dug in my sweat shirt pocket for my car keys. I found them, fumbling with the lock; completely coming apart inside. I heard him burst out of the door. He ran up to me, leaned me against the car, I could barely stand, I felt me heart physically drop from my body. But I hadnt started crying yet.

"Please dont go," he said "I want be this for you, but I'm scared. You put all this pressure on me."
"Let go of me James."
"No."

I pushed him off me, my door was unlocked. All I knew was that I couldnt cry in front of him.

When I pushed him off me, he got angry, pushed me back against the side of my car, my keys falling to the ground.

I looked at him shocked, my shoulders hurt, our eyes connected.

"I'm trying to reason with you damnit!" He yelled.

I swung, closing my eyes. I hoped to connect with anything, anything that would get MY point accross. I hit something hard, boney flesh, it felt maliable under my knuckles. I didnt hear him hit the ground, but he did.

I looked down at him, still angry and consumed with regret, and love, angry love.

I had hit him near the ear, just under it, where the jaw-line starts to form. I had also grazed his nose, which was now bleeding. He looked at me shocked.

"Oh shit," I said.

"I dont know what to do now," he said "Have you ever hit anyone before."

"No"

He made a "hmph" noise as I helped him to his feet. He looked at his house, the color from the t.v. shining the back wall of his living room. His parents were watching C.S.I. completely unaware.

"What are you going to tell your parents," I asked, blood still trickling out of his nose.

"Nothing," he said looking into my eyes "they probably wont even know I went outside.

"James I-,"

"You go home, we'll talk about this some other time, if we ever talk about it at all." He said, our eyes still connected he was sending me rays, he was completely vulnerable and it made me love him even more.

"I'm sorry." I said.

"So am I," he said. "Physical bruises, emtional ones." he said putting his hand on my chest. I felt my heart jump back into my body.

I brushed him off, he picked up my keys. He waited until I backed out of the driveway to turn around. While he waited I saw him pull out another Camel, light it, take a long drag. I smiled to myself.

The comments thing

So I love getting comments on my blog. It makes me REALLY happy knowing that people are actually reading it and I'm on here just telling nobody my life story but I'd like to know who you all are as well. So if you, please leave at least your name when you comment. I would greatly appreciate it.

Thank you,
Jesse

Cliff Hangers

I got a phone call from James the other night. It was about 3 A.M. and I was fast asleep. The phone rings, I answer, he's drunk, this is what transpired:

Me: Hey dude, do you know what time it is.
James: Jesse? Jesse? I need to tell you something.
Me: What?
James: Okay well first I'm a little drunk-
Me: So I hear.
James: I'm a little drunk and I need to tell you something I wanted to tell you before you left but I couldnt because Nick came with us to the coffee shop.
Me: Are you alone?
James: Yeah I stepped outside to have a cigarette.
Me:....
James: I needed to tell you this now because I'm drunk and you have to promise me you wont bring it up again....Promise?
Me: I promise.
James: You promise?
Me: James just tell me.
James: OK well I wanted to tell you that....that...
Me: Yeah.
James: Its not that I didnt love you, its just that..that...
Me: WHAT!?!??
James: Oh hold on....blaaaaaaaarrrrrgggghhhhhh.
Me: WHAT? DUDE ARE YOU THERE?!!
James: Oh man, I just got threw up all over myself, I gotta go. I'll talk to you later.
Me: James I swear to GOD if you hang up this phone!
James: Bye
"Click"
Me: Fuck.

....Santa?

Just for the record I give kickass presents. I've been told that my gift giving abilities are incredible, that I always hit the nail on the head. ....yeah I'm that good. Not to brag though.

Michael is one of my few friends in the city, hes a teacher, and damn smart. So I happened upon something that I know will make him shit his pants. I'm not kidding, I'm thinking that when I give it to him I'm going to bring a pair of huggies just as a joke.

I cant disclose what it is because I gave him the link to my blog-a-log and I dont know if and when he reads it. But I will certaintly let you know about the unveiling.

A conversation with Bob

I'm on Central Park West and I decide to randomly call Bob seeing as I haven't talked to him since last week. This is the conversation that occured:

Bob: Ring.....Ring.....Hello?
Me: Howdy
Bob: Howdy
Me: How are you? Havent talk to you in a while.
Bob: Fine not too much going on.
Me: Thats cool. I was just calling to see how you were.
Bob: Thats cool....Can I call you back?...I...Uh...I'm kinda in the middle of something.
Me: Oh. Yeah. Thats fine, call me back.
Bob: Ok I'll call you back later "click"
Me: Bye



I feel like a 14 year old.

Nothing New

So....today I did the laundry and killed some insects. I met some more crazy people in my building and washed my bath tub.

Oh! And I got some fucking shut eye! Its about time. I finally fell asleep at 3 A.M. I remember waking up at 7 and thinking "Jesus this is terrible" and then the next thing I know I'm waking up and 10:30 and thinking "now thats more like it".

Tomarrow I'm running, more laundry, returning applications in Manhattan and then looking for a job in central Brooklyn, in the Park Slope, North Flatbush area.

Good luck to me, sweet dreams amigos.

23 hours and counting

So first off let me tell you that sunrises are amazing in this city. I mean everyone has seen the photos of the Manhattan skyline when the sun is coming up.But actually seeing it, whitnessing it for yourself, its really amazing. The sun is still heavy and orange and world seems almost docial even in New York City.

So in other words I didnt sleep.

I went out at around 5:45 a.m. and took the trusty Q into the city. I got off at 42nd street because even though I hate Times Square during the day when its packed full of tourists, its really amazing in the morning. Its almost completely empty save a few cops, and a couple of suits rushing to work around Midtown. "I bought a coffee and the paper/had a phone conversation"(thats for all you Brighteyes fans) But seriously I bought a coffee, a paper, even though I'm on the NY Times emailing alert list and get it in my inbox everymorning at precisly 7 o'clock(what kind of teenager am I?). I really did have a phone conversation too, with my mother of course. I told her all about my sudden lack of sleep and new found lack of books to read(credit card) she told me to hang in there, it will pass.

Will it? This is the 4th day I've had trouble sleeping, and the tiredness is just now hitting me. Hopefully I can lye down and not ruin my whole day. Plus that would really fuck up my sleeping patterns. But I'm going to try to get some shut eye and wake up again at around noon. If I cant I dont know, maybe the Brooklyn Bridge thing isnt that bad an idea.

Insomnia

So as I write this my clock ticks closer and closer to 5 a.m. I'm jealous of all the people in the world who get to sleep right now. I've never had a problem sleeping before. I mean yeah a restless night here or there maybe but never like this, never ALL FUCKING NIGHT!!!!! I think that at 5:30 I'm gunna hop the Q into Manhattan, get myself some coffee and watch the sun come up on the east side. Then who knows, maybe I'll jump off the Brooklyn Bridge so I can get some shut eye!!! I think G*d really hates me now.

Sigh

Currently doing.....

So this is my update on me, mostly because I'm obsessed with lists.

CURRENT THINGS:
Current Name: Jesse
Currently living: Brooklyn, NY
Currently employer:.....I'm between "projects" right now.
Last thing I bought: Pop-tarts, fruit cups, apple juice.
Currently reading: Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert; Guns, Germs, and Steel by Jared Diamond; The Lost Language of Cranes by David Leavitt
Currently Drinking: Coffee, black.
FAVORITE THINGS:
Favorite activity: Writing
Favorite Books(I couldnt pick one): The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien; The History of Love by Nicole Krauss; On The Road by Jack Kerouac; The Hours by Michael Cunningham.
Favorite Song: Life on Mars by David Bowie
Favorite Album: The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan
Favorite Band:....Coldplay
Favorite painting: Jackson Pollack's #1
Favorite Movie: Magnolia
Favorite Photographer: Bruce Davidson, Tine Modotti, Robert Mapplethorpe :P

Another Gay Day

So Sunday was just one gay event after another.

I showed up to Bob's apartment at noon for brunch. This by the way completely throws me. In the midwest breakfast is from 5:30 to 9 am. Brunch is from 9:30 to around 11:30-noonish. and everything after that is lunch and dinner. But in NYC Sunday brunch is from 12-4 pm. It must be a left over habit from the speak easy days.

So anywho, I showed up at his apartment and then we left for Elmo, the restaurant in Chelsea. I liked it, it was certainly one those "no tourists allowed" restaurants. This is good because even though technically I was one until I got an address, tourists drive me nuts.

After brunch, we went to see Another Gay Movie at the Quad Cinema. My god was it funny. It was great, damn hilarious. I think that if you're gay, or gay friendly, you should see this movie because I'm fairly certain that it will become manditory viewing in a couple of years. Almost like "Lost Language of Cranes" is mandatory reading. But I warn you, be prepared for some gross out moments, like Richard Hatche's penis.....ew.

Bob then took me on a tour of the LGBT center. It was a big step for me, speaking from a confidence stand point. When we walked out of the movie theater he said something along the lines of : "In New York you dont have to worry about getting beat up when you go see a gay movie". My mind flashed back to me walking quickly across the Celebration Cinema parking lot at 11:30 pm after seeing Brokeback Mountain. Defenitly a big step made then.

We went for down to Century 21, the one down by the WTC. Fucking tourists! But its a great store and now I know where to shop when I have a damn job.

After that we went up to the Alphabet City. We walked along Ave. A and stumbled upon an improptu punk concert going on, though we couldnt see who it was. And all the little punk kids were too busy kicking each other and smoking their ultra-lights to tell us. So Bob took me to a burrito place on Ave. A that was absolutly incredible. I dont rememeber the name but I believe it was on the corner of A and the corner of Tompkins sq. park.

So we ventured back uptown, joking and talking my burrito in hand.

FLASH FORWARD PAST THE AMAZING SEX!!!!!!!!
*disclaimer: touching moments to follow, all cynics continue at your own risk.

We're lying in his bed, my eyes feel heavy, tired. He's looking at me, his hand on my chest. Bob works nights so he usually divides his sleep before and after work. Its 8 p.m. and usually when I should be leaving, letting him get his rest. I look at the clock, sigh, start to get up to leave. He puts his leg over mine so I cant get up, "You dont have to go."

"You've gotta go to work."

"Stay, you know you dont want to go all the way to Brooklyn anyway."

So I stayed.

We laid down and fell asleep. His alarm went off and he kissed me on the forehead told me he'd be back before I knew it. But I got up with him, talked to him until he left. Then I called Ms. B back and we talked until 2 a.m. all the while I complained about the lack of carbs in Bob's apartment.

After I hung up Ms. B I got last weeks New Yorker and started to read the story in bed. Bob came in a little after 8. I heard him come in and pretended to sleep. He picked up the magazine saying " I guess the New Yorker isnt entertaining enough for Jesse." Then he quietly took off his clothes and crawled into bed next to me and waited until I actually did wake up.
.....We stayed in bed until noon :o

We went to Vinyl in Hell's Kitchen and we said our goodbyes around 4-ish.

I think I'm defenitly falling for this Bob fellow, I dont know if this is a good thing or not. We talked about it for a while. But that conversation is far to personal for the world wide web.

Sunday mornings

There's something really special about Sunday mornings.

I've always wanted to be one of those people who woke up early on a Sunday, turn my head and find myself lying next to the person I've fallen completely in love with. We would spend the whole day together: Read the Sunday Times, fight over the Book review; go to brunch, fight over the jam. Then retreat to our or his, or my small but cozy apartment to relax, dreading the coming week. The piles of paper that we know are going to be on our desks in the morning. Comfortable back rubs, book shopping, coffee drinking, needless errands.

I'm convinced that this moment will one day happen to me, it has to. Some people dream of weddings, huge vast circus weddings; children, pitter-patters and what not. Me, I dream of perfect Sundays. Whole unstoppable moments lived in a single, or series of, Sundays.

But today hasn't sucked so far.

I woke up at 6:15, more or less because I couldnt fall back asleep again. I decided that today was the day, I was going to go running. I got out of bed, killed a roach mercilessly(bastard) and then put on my running shoes and took my keys and stretched relentlessly. Church Ave isnt even a hop skip and jump from Prospect Park, more like a hop and skip, or a skip and a jump perhaps. So I used that as my warm up. Church and Ocean, up to the Lincoln Rd. entrance to the park. From there I entered the park and ran up the path to Flatbush Ave. I felt good, I felt productive(especially after my failed bike hunting yesterday).

This was my first time in Prospect park, at 6:30 on a Sunday morning, and it was a incredibly beautiful. I turned at Flatbush Ave. and ran down Ocean Ave back to Church Ave. I noticed that I started to speed up alot when I crossed Parkside Ave. I smile to myself, reminscent of my 6 years of cross country. I wanted to call Mr. Carey(my old coach) and say "guess what Mr. Carey, I dont need you screaming behind me to get back into shape" But he still would have called me fat.

As I crossed Caton my stride opened up, my legs lengthened, my breathing started to settle. It was like meditating, my mind was clear, me head was empty, it was complete magic.

I got back into my apartment and my alarm started to go off, It was only 7:15. I had alot to do. I made coffee, took a shower, listened to BBC radio and then went to the laundry mat with all the laundry I could afford to do(mostly shirts and underwear if you must know) and I went took out my garbage.

Its only 10:30 and I feel like I've had a whole day already. I love days like this, I know I'll crash eventually, but hopefully this is the start of a very productive pattern. I should go now though. I'm meeting Bob for brunch. Then he's taking me to see "Not Another Gay Movie" I'm worried thats its basically going to suck. But I'm finally getting my New York brunch. I'm going to buy a Sunday Times when I get into Manhattan.

But I've defenitly come to appreciate Brooklyn more, my borough is growing on me.

So....how about the weather?

It's so fucking hot outside. It feels like its hotter than yesterday but there's no way that could be possible.....could it? Its said to storm tonight but I dont know about that. I hope so, so this fucking heat will go away.

I think I may go into the city in a bit to get some sushi. I dont know where to go so I'll probably take the train all the way to 14th street to get sushi at whole foods, but I feel like I need to be doing something more. I'm going to move around my furniture and set up my printer too.

Maaayyyyybbbbeeee tomarrow if its cooler I'll wake up early and go running in Prospect Park. I need to run, I'm not losing any weight sitting at home all day.

The great thing about UPS

So I just recieved another box of goodies in the mail. A care package from my very funny friend Ms. P. She sent the following items:

A really cool coffee cup
A container of Spices
and the kicker
6 bags of Ramen noodles.

I have a question though. Why is it that the UPS guy always comes right when I'm getting out of the shower, so that I have to pull on a dirty pair of shorts and go to the door dripping wet. The USPS lady does the same thing. I think its a conspiracy.

What you shouldnt be asking yourselves is :Why is he taking a shower at 12:45 in the afternoon?
Thats a stupid thing to ask. :P

Possibly a poem for Thursday

When the moon sets and the sun is waiting to rise,
Look at the sky.
It will tell you story of lovers in love, cheaters in death,
Walkers in their heads,
Like that of V. Wolf.
Before the rain comes and after the winds built,
Look at the sky.
You will learn of picnics ruined and parties dismantled.
The yellow, both dark and light at once, will lead you to see them
Leaves floating in the breeze.
As it falls, great oceans of rain,
Look at the sky.
The one spontaneous child will show you how he spent his summer.
Swimming in a lake surrounded but liquid bullets that penetrated the surface,
Looking blotched underwater.

On the plate for today

1.)Making coffee, eating breakfast, listening to NPR, agreeing that Tony Blair is an idiot.

2.) 23 minute conversation with once muse, now long distance partner in crime, Ms. B.

3.) Listen to college radio music, drinking more coffee, filling out applications to return today.
(considering a shave)
4.) Give in to pressure of the world and decide to put on pants.(not at this moment though.

5.) Put on Coldplay really loud to drown out the sound of the angry Hip Hop music upstairs.

More to come in this exciting saga. Stay tuned for Jesse, the morning after!!!!!!

Heat waves blow

So New York is currently in the throws of vicious heat wave. This blows, I havent left my apartment yet today. I told my parents I would most likely be on the job hunt for the rest of the week, non-stop. But...Its just so fucking hot outside I mean who wants to walk around Manhattan sweaty and gross and asking "Excuse me, can pick up an application?" 40 times?

Exactly!

Good news though! I going home for Labor day weekend! I'm so excited to see all my friends, and play with my puppies, and drive Jefferey Talbot III(my green Saturn) and sleep in my old bed.

Home is where to heart is I guess. Even though I know without a doubt that this is where I belong, its not home yet. That takes time. And its only been 2 weeks on my own. God that seems so unrealistic, only 2 weeks.

"Time, what a tricky fucker."(From the film "Closer")