My Oscar Insider is an Idiot

Best Picture:
The Departed

Best Actor: Forrest Whitaker

Best Actress: Helen Mirren

Best Director: Marty

Best Sup Actor: Alan Arking (who saw that coming?)

Best Sup Actress: Jennifer Hudson( I think I called that one)

So the 79th Academy Awards were basically boring. But I had a great time being SUPER gay with MP and his amigos. Let me some things up for those of you that missed it.
Departed won, and everyone realized that they should have seen Pan's Labrinth. Abagail Breslin is basically the cutest button to ever get put on a coat.(did anyone see the Kodak commercial she's in?) The dance co. was genius, the music was interesting. The recaps were well done, except why did we salute American Films?

I would do DIRTY things to Ryan Gosling and Tom Cruise is probably going to be forced to stay away from children. LOOK OUT ABAGAIL HE"LL GIVE YOU A PAMPHLET!!!!
And Ellen was fucking funny.

Oscar Predictions

Best Picture:
Should win: Bable
Will Win: Little Miss Sunshine

Best Actor:
Should win: Forrest Whitaker
Will win: Whitaker
But I do feel an upset with Ryan Gosling. Remember no one thought Adrian Brody would win.

Best Actress:
Should win:Kate Winslet(cant the just give her one already), Penelope Cruz, or Helen Mirren
Will win: Helen Mirren

Best Supporting Actor:
Should win:Jackie Earle Haley
Will win: Eddie Murphy (who isnt funy anymore)

Best Supporting actress:
Should win:Rinko Kikuchi
Will win: Jennifer Hudson, and then she will disappear for ever.

Best Director:
Should win:Departed
Will win: The Queen

Documentary:
should win: Jesus Camp
Will win: Al Gore

The Spoils

I'm not doing so well these days. The relationship is sort of getting off to a rocky start. And we all know that isnt good. School couldnt be worse. I was out last week taking care of MP, and as he was throwing up in the bathroom I relized that I had 2 papers and an exam today. So I'm fucked. Work is getting more and more difficult, and people opinions of me are changing, for reasons I dont know.

As I was coming home from work Saturday instead of going to the man's house, which I usually do, a thought hit me: Go somewhere else. Move. And then the follow up thought hit me: Runaway. Avoid issues, and these arent even very serious issues.

Where would I go: San Fransico, Portland, Seattle, Boston or take a big dive and leave the country.

How would I pay: I would use my parents money, the money they gave me in case I fell on hard times here.

What about school?: I cant pay for school, my parents cant pay for school, the government cant pay for school. My academic career is basically done after next year.

Why go?: Because I know that I'm one of those people who runs from problems and calls it sponteneity. Why do you think I moved to New York in the first place? James, my parents, my depression, my heartache, my sexuality, my boredom.

This is how I feel in a nut shell

Artist: Peter Bjorn And JohnAlbum: Writer's BlockYear: 2006Title: Objects Of My Affection

I remember when, when i first moved here, a long time ago,
´cause i heard some song i used to hear back then,
a lone time ago.
i remember when, even further back,
in another town,
´cause i saw something written i used to say back then,
hard to comprehend

and the question is, was i more alive
then than i am now?
i happily have to disagree;
i laugh more often now, i cry more often now,
i am more me.

but of course some days, i just lie around
and hardly exist,
and can´t tell apart what i´m eating from my hand or my wrist.
´cause flesh is flesh, flesh as flesh as flesh,
the difference is thin.
but life has a certian ability or breating new life into me,
so i breathe it in.
it says here we are, and we all are here,
and you still can make sense,
if you just show up and present an honest face,
instead of that grin.

and the other day, this new friend of mine
said something to me
"just because something starts differently,
doesn´t mean it´s worth less."
and i soaked it in, how i soaked it in,
how i soaked it in
and just as to prove how right he was,
then you came.
so i´m gonna give, yes i´m gonna give,
i´m gonna give you a try,
so i´m gonna give, yes i´m gonna give,
i´m gonna give you a try



I also feel a little bit like the Magnolia soundtrack though. I'm racking my brains out about things between the man and I. We hardly get a chance to talk because he works all the time. And this week he has a house guest coming so I wont be able to talk to him face to face.

I'm having a shit day.

Big Ideas

Man and I talking in bed this morning:

Me:

Do you ever have days where you just want to ditch everything, get your passport out and just go somewhere?

Man:

Everyday

Me:

Good. Thats comforting.

Man:

Ever actually do it?

Me:

Once. I didnt get too far, Chicago.

Man:

Why there?

Me:

It was the farthest from home that I still knew people. Did you ever do it?

Man:

Yeah, I went to Kyoto.

Me:

Really, why?

Man:

It was the only place I could think to go to make sure I didnt run into anyone I knew.

All I have to say is: "All the gin joints in all the world...".

I have taken the leap

I have updated to the new version of blogger. If there are any complications let me know.

My philosophy prof

So I have this crazy philosophy professor who talks with a very thick Russian accent. I can hardly understand her when she goes into tangets about piety, and defenitions, and other useless bullshit. I really hate that class.

Anyway she wears her hair very strangely. Its a reddish-brown color and is curly. And she pulls it up and clips it to the front of her head. Its odd. Anyway when she does that she had one curl that sort of sits on her forehead. I was trying to think of what it reminded me of. Finally today I got it. Picasso's Le R^eve( I cant figure out sub or super script on this bitch.)

My mom is here

My mother is here. She arrived early this morning and basically waited around for me all day long. I took her to dinner at Republic on Union Sq. West. She loves the Pad Thai there. So far things are going well.

I can feel our relationship morphing from mother/teenager to mother/adult. Or at least she respects my decisions more. Its good and bad at the same time. I feel relieved that I dont have to put up the almost charade for my parents that I put up in high school. I also feel relieved that whatever dialogue I decide to use with her she goes with it. And she no longer scoffs at my food buying habits. She actually seemed interested in the fact that I like whole wheat rasin english muffins for breakfast.

I will fill you in on developements with the man and I (the curve ball). and I will digress further about the mother visit later. Now, though its 9 p.m. I must go to bed. I'm exhausted.

The whether

I think I'm becoming narotic. This is why.

The Guy and I were talking the other day as I was leaving overpriced-times square-located-super media-store(dont know if I did the hyphens right). We were on the phone. He was telling me about how he was going to be stuck at the office all night working on a new account because he's having trouble "cracking it". I honestly dont really know what that means, but I was sympathetic.

In passing I made a comment about the dreaded valentines day. Now I'm not one for mushy bullshit holidays, and I never have been. But then again I've never found myself in the fog a potential relationship around the dreaded day. I think the most James ever did was buy me a cup of coffee and allow me to bum a few smokes off of him.

Now I feel like I may want to actually do something special. And by special I just mean order in and watch a movie. I dont want over the top, I actually kind of hate over the top. But I just like being with him.

Back to the point. I mentioned it and he kind of freaked out. "Umm," he said, "We, uh, we'll have to discuss it I guess."
I quickly tried to glaze it over. Telling him it wasnt a big deal I was wondering if he had thought about it, but I think the damage may have been done.

Now I have 2 big concerns in the whole scheme of things:

1.) our age differences will start to become a problem. While I'm not stupid by any means, and I dont think I'm that naive (how the hell do you make those damn dots!?) there is a certain amount of knowledge that he has that I have yet to aquire. This could at anytime become an issue.
2.) The extremely large difference in our incomes. I work in retail, and I'm in college. I basically dont make any money. He works in advertising, and is damn good at his job, and obviously makes more than me. Either he and I will find a way to bridge the gap, or it will become the elephant in the room.

an addition to the previous post

Also what if:

A little tiny mouse is in your little tiny apartment and continually wakes you up so that you only get 5 hours of sleep before your almost 13 hour day.