big decisions

I've made a decision, I'm going to India.

You're all probably wondering what brought about this crazy idea, and I'm here to tell you. I need adventure. I knew from a very early age that I'm not one of those Americans to sit around in the same...country for the rest of my life. I need to get out, stretch my legs, keep moving. I blame having watched "Angels in America" 60,000 times for my fear of keeping still.

I want really kickass stories to freshen up my life. I want my parents to able to brag about me, for example:

Mrs. H(my mother secretly hates her): Oh hey there Jesse's mom how are you?

My mom: Oh Mrs. H I didnt see you there. I'm good. Yourself?

Mrs. H: I'm great. My son just graduated from Yale Law School.

My mom: That's wonder! You (treacherous bitch) must be so proud.

Mrs. H: I am, Soooo proud. So how's Jesse doing in big old New York?

My mom(sneering): actually, Jesse's in India taking some time off and volunteering for a relief organization. But dont we all?

Mrs. H: Thats right we do. My son met the President, at a school function the other night.

My mom: Jesse fucked his son last month, he's a total nelly bottom bitch in bed, but he puts up a great front, no?

Mrs. H: I...uh...well that IS news isnt it.

My mom( digging deeper): Yes it is, and aparently Jesse won an internship with Howard Dean, but he turned it down so he could focus on writing his next book.

Mrs. H: I didnt know he was published.

My mom: well his stuff isnt for the Daniel Steele audience. He uses the pen name Gore Vidal. Sorry Mrs. H I gotta run. We're throwing Jesse a huge welcome home party, but we wanted to make all the signs in Hindi, you know? Oh well toodles. Tell your son I said hello.

Mrs. H: Sure thing, bye bye. (To self) what the hell is Hindi?

* Disclaimer: This would never happen, my mom would never say nelly.


I just want my life to be interesting, ya know?