The First Bad Night

I couldn't sleep last night. I had unwisely taken a nap at 6 pm. It was ment to be a power nap, get some rest in my bones. When I awoke at 9 I knew I needed practice in the art of power napping.

I spent the rest of the night on the internet, willing myself to sleep. I read other blogs, read the news, watched some funny videos on http://www.youtube.com. The airplane sex video is hilarious.

At around 1 I decided to give sleeping another try. I closed me laptop, and my eyes and lay back, hopeing that dreaming would catch me. Then I heard it, the most blood curtiling scream I've ever heard in my life. And it wouldnt stop, it wouldnt end. It was a woman and she, without a doubt sounded like she was dying, or the even crueler scenario.

I didnt know what to do, I clutched my pillow, afraid for me, for her. I didnt stop, she just kept screaming and scream and I was completely terrified. All of these different possiblities popped into my head. "what if she was being murdered slowly?" No she sounds like she's in the service alley, or near the street. "What she's being mugged?" No, muggers usually get that over with quickly. "......rape?" My mind went into a frenzy, I was going quietly insane in my tiny apartment with the big windows that allowed all kinds of sounds to come through.

"Surely my neighbors can hear her. Why arent there sirens? Doesnt my neighborhood have a 24 hours task force or something like that?" There we no sirens, I felt almost betrayed. I couldnt call the police, I was so scared I couldnt move. If thats the case for everyone else, than I have no reason to blam them. To be honest I feel really terrible.

After almost 30 minutes of this womans' panicked attack, it ended. Just like that. Fear again gripped me, "is she dead? Is she in the process of dying? Did she get up and walk away?" The worst and hardest part is that I'll never know. Unless when I go outside I see yellow tape and flashing lights, then my worst fears will be realized.

I can say this: just hearing whatever it was that I heard. If it was a rape, I never really understood how terrible it must be for someone who is sexually assualted, and now that I have a pretty good idea of what goes on in someone's head, how badly they need to scream, how it never seems loud enough. I never want to hear it again, this may have been the worst night of my life.